I am aware that the title of this blog may come across as almost blasphemous but, bear with it, it is there for a good reason!
I was having one of my regular catch up chats with Gem’s Dad the other evening. It was a lengthy one covering all areas and aspects of each other’s daily lives. You know the sort, the meaty kind of conversation where you really feel like you know the person more intimately afterwards. It was a great chat.
Anyway, during the conversation, we began to look at what sort of stuff had been happening in each of our lives over the last three or so years. As we began to dissect, we soon realised just how linked everything was, like stuff that had happened to me was directly related by stuff he had experienced. It honestly felt like I had been woven in to the family and the family story now included myself.
The huge upshot to all of this is it allowed us to work out where God was in all of this. It rapidly became apparent that the answer was everywhere. It really feels, without going into too much detail of the conversation, that God was so much part of the fabric of every major decision, twist and turn in our recent lives.
This brought us to the realisation that we had stumbled across a snippet of God’s plan for us. We had glimpsed the path we were walking on. I would argue, quite within reason I think, that God’s entire plan can never be fully known by anyone other than God himself. I mean, there will be parts that come to us via revelation (both general and specific) but we will never fully cotton on to the entirety of it.
This of course is a great thing, it certainly keeps me feeling sane and grounded! But, it was really fantastic to catch a glimpse of part of the bigger picture. It was one of those moments when you suddenly realise everything, including hardships (of which there have been many for both of us) all point in the same direction.
What I feel comes from this kind of experience, more than anything else, is this overwhelming sense of reassurance. I mean, we have both been through some pretty tough stuff and, when we realised that this fit into what looked like God’s plan just as precisely as the nice stuff, well, you can’t help but feel confident that God knows best.
I know we are expected to feel like this, I know it is something a Christian society values quite highly but, trust in God doesn’t always come so easily.
I was away last week with a bunch of Christians at a very charismatic spirit lead, conference. It was great. One thing I didn’t expect to encounter was people like me. People who love and want to follow God but, despite this, still have fear-lead doubts. People who, despite of their continued efforts to follow Christ’s example, still valued self-reliance higher than a pure trust in God.
The implications of this for me, when me and Gem’s dad stumbled upon a tiny bit of God’s plan, were monumental. It meant, that I had no other alternative than to be entirely humbled by God. I had to come to terms with my lack of trust up until this moment and learn, in an instant, that God’s power is way beyond my comprehension. I had to learn to trust God.
Since this experience it has been a rocky road. As most Christians that have had such a revelation come upon them will tell you, adjusting your course because of said revelation is never a smooth ride. God has this cleverly quirky ways of putting you through your paces when you make a revelation induced vow to him. Now that I have vowed to trust God more than ever before God has smiled and answered by putting that trust to the test.
This is all very fresh having only happened this weekend and I shall not fill this post with examples of the tests of trust I have, thus far, faced. However, expect a post in the near future detailing some of the obstacles and ways I have overcome them.